


Jumping the Gun

by NateC7



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Angst, Comforting Castiel, Dean Centric, Dean's headspace is not a good place, F/M, Fluff, General warnings for Dean's headspace, Gentle Sex, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of past incestual rape/non-con, Non canonical AU, Past Character Death, Priest!Cas, Sam is kind of a jerk, Suicidal Thoughts, Zachariah is a douchebag, and i mean a lot of angst, bigbro!gabriel, mentions of past rape/non-con, more angst than fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-21
Packaged: 2018-02-23 12:15:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2547128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NateC7/pseuds/NateC7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Sam leaves Dean to go to college, Dean goes to Bobby's beginning to work for him at the salvage yard. Dean is drawn to a church in town and ends up having many conversations with a priest, Castiel, there during confession. Dean and the priest form a close bond that turns into something more than friendship. Cas then helps Dean learn how to forgive himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hello everyone! This story came from two characters who demanded that I make a fanfiction for them. This is also my first Destiel fanfiction and my first time writing a M/M pairing. I love feedback and constructive criticism, so if you see anything wrong please let me know! Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Extra Note: This Fic is still a work in progress. I have the first 3 chapters written and I don't really have a schedule for when new chapters will be added. This fic will not be abandoned unless I say it will, so don't worry about that.

Dean Winchester sat in the driver’s seat of his Chevy Impala, watching the figure disappear into the distance. Then he looked at the now empty passenger seat next to him.  The Impala sat in the middle of the road but in park, the engine still purred. He felt another surge of anger boiling in his stomach. The anger made him slam his foot on the floor of the car and curse loudly. He wanted to punch something again.

Even in his anger though, he didn’t want to hurt his car. He needed to punch something else. He looked outside at the road which was flanked by forest on both sides. Dean shoved his car door open and got out of the Impala, walking to one of the trees. He balled his hand into a fist and channeled all his anger into it as he slammed the fist into the tree trunk. The impact of course made him wince as the bark dug into his knuckles rather hard. He gritted his teeth as he saw blood on the back of his hand.

Cradling his bleeding hand, he turned and leaned back against the trunk. Dean let himself slide down into a sitting position, ignoring the bark scratching into his back and making his shirt ride up as he did so. He was truly alone now. His brother Sam had left him even after Dean had gotten him out of that godforsaken house. The little son of a bitch should have been grateful for what Dean did. He had saved his little brother from further abuse by that drunken father of theirs.  
Sam hadn’t minded it in the beginning after they left. In fact, he hadn’t said much at all. The boy just kept quiet and let Dean take care of things as they started living on the road. Then Sam started becoming less dependent on his brother. He had started asking for things like a new laptop and books. Getting the money to even buy those things was hard enough already.

Just today, Sam told Dean he had been hiding something from him for a long time. Sam had made a bank account on his laptop and got registered through webcam chats and many emails. Then Sam had gone and gotten himself a job where he could work while on the road and money got directly deposited into his bank account. This had been going on for four years, starting the minute Dean got Sam a laptop a year and a half after they left their father’s home. Sam had been saving up to go to Stanford. Dean was furious at Sam for hiding something like that. Sam had explained Dean wouldn’t have liked it because it would mean he would have to leave and Dean would be all alone. And that was true! Dean was all alone now, because he hadn’t stopped his brother from leaving. He had given his brother an ultimatum: If Sam got out of the car and walked away, Dean never wanted to see him again. If Sam stayed in the car, he needed to give up on his dream of going to college. Sam had chosen the former, and now Dean was left alone with just the Impala.

The sky was getting dark now and the air was getting colder. Even though Dean was dressed well enough in jeans, a plaid shirt, and a brown leather jacket, he still needed to get back in the car for warmth. He stood up and walked back to his Impala, climbing inside and putting the car back into drive. Despite not wanting to see his brother again, he drove in the direction Sam had gone and was relieved to see that there was a town just an hour away. Good. Sam would be able to take care of himself then.

Dean continued driving on, not bothering to stop at the town. He didn’t want to risk running into Sam. He drove for a few more hours until he told himself he shouldn’t drive anymore until he got some sleep. Dean got off on the nearest exit and ended up driving into a small town he didn’t see the name of. He drove around until he found a motel and rented a room for himself. He allowed himself six hours of sleep before getting back on the road again.

Dean decided he would head to Bobby’s. It was time to take him up on his offer. When Dean and Sam had left their father’s house, it wasn’t long before Bobby caught the news of what had happened. He had called Dean and offered a place to stay, but Dean had declined, saying he could take care of himself and Sammy. Bobby told him the offer still stood, and Dean hoped that was still true even now.

Dean drove to South Dakota, which was about an 8 hour drive from where he was. He tried to log as many hours as possible into driving, but ended up staying in two motels along the way. Finally he reached Sioux Falls, S.D. and got to Bobby’s house. He walked up to Bobby’s door and took a breath before knocking. It took a minute before the door opened and he saw Bobby standing there.

Bobby Singer was a man who looked to be in his early 50’s with a slight beard and mustache, and wearing a trucker hat. His eyes widened when he recognized Dean and smiled. He did notice Dean’s brother wasn’t around, however.

“Boy, it’s good to see you. Where’s Sam?” Bobby asked.

Dean gave Bobby a dark look and he understood it was better to wait until they sat down.

“Ah,” Bobby nodded slowly. “Well come in. I’ll get you a beer and you can tell me what’s been going on.” 

The older man stepped aside to let Dean in and Bobby went to the kitchen to retrieve some beer for them. Dean sat on the couch and nodded in thanks to Bobby when he handed him a beer. Dean popped it open and took a long drink as Bobby sat in an armchair.

“Okay boy, talk to me. Where is Sam?” 

Bobby looked at Dean, thinking the boy looked tired. There was something like anger and guilt in his eyes. Dean caught him looking and looked away, sighing heavily. Bobby gave Dean a minute to pull his thoughts together. Finally, Dean explained yesterday’s events to Bobby.

“It’s not that Sam wanted to quit life on the road and go to college that’s bothering me, Bobby. It’s the fact that he lied about it for four years. Four years, he had a job and was making money. It’s like he didn’t trust me! I was so pissed at him yesterday, and damn it I’m still pissed!” Dean shook his head and took another long swig of his beer. He glanced at the bottle and was surprised to see he had already downed the whole thing. Dean put the empty bottle on the coffee table and looked back to Bobby. “I told him if he left, I never wanted to see him again. And the little bitch did just that."

Bobby studied him carefully for a few moments. Then he said, “So what are you going to do now?”

Dean sighed again and leaned forward, sliding a hand down his face and shaking his head.  “I honestly don’t know, Bobby.”

“Well son, you remember I told you that you boys were welcome to stay here. That offer still stands.” 

Dean made the smallest sign of a smile. It was one of relief. However, he didn’t want to be a burden to Bobby. So he said, “I won’t stay long. I’ll get a job and work until I have enough to get a place of my own. I don’t want to be living here without pulling some of my own weight.”

“Well, I could use an extra pair of hands in the yard. How about working for Singer Salvage?” Bobby offered. “Besides, considering the good condition your ride is in, I take it you’re pretty good with cars.”

“Are you sure?” Dean asked. Bobby nodded and Dean smiled a little more. At least there was some hope left for him. Now all he needed to do was avoid screwing it up. “Thanks Bobby,” said Dean. 

“No problem at all, boy. Come on, I’ll show you what I’ll be having you do in the salvage yard.” Bobby stood up and Dean got up to follow him. 

They went outside and into the yard where tons of old cars and different parts sat around. Bobby led him to the garage where the main business is done. He explained to Dean that it would be his job to make sure all usable parts were in working condition, as well as keeping them clean and making sure no parts were rusted. Dean said he could start right on the next day and even though he was technically family to Bobby, he still had to fill out a form and sign a contract. 

Bobby made dinner that night. He just popped a frozen chicken in the oven and made some beans to go with it. It was brought to Dean’s attention that this was the first home cooked meal he had eaten in a very long time. A sense of nostalgia came over him as he ate his food. Dean was very grateful for Bobby letting him stay at his place. He knew he had made the right decision in coming here. 

When on the road with his brother, they didn’t really have any direction in their life. Dean didn’t want to stay in one place for very long either. They had managed to stay in an apartment for a few months, but Dean was incredibly restless. He wanted to get out and drive. One night he had made the mistake of leaving Sammy alone and they had ended up getting robbed. So they had left the apartment and resorted to living life on the road, with just themselves and the Impala. 

Dean still needed money for gas and motels, so they ended up doing small jobs around the country. It worked for a while, and then they had mysteriously begun getting money from what seemed like nowhere. Dean now knew it had been the money Sam had been earning, but Sam had lied and told him it was being sent by Bobby who had given Sam his credit card information. 

Even as Dean went to bed in Bobby’s spare room, he still wanted to move around. He told himself it wouldn’t be as much fun if there wasn’t anyone with him. He knew Bobby wouldn’t want to go driving around the country. The man already had his own house and job and everything. Dean couldn’t do that to Bobby, but he didn’t want to be alone either. That was really why he had opted to stay at Bobby’s. 

Dean slowly adjusted to life at Bobby’s house in Sioux Falls. He got a paycheck at the end of every week, though he wasn’t sure where Bobby was getting the money to pay him. He had asked one day and Bobby had just told him not to worry about it. Dean had to admit that it was a lot better being able to sleep in on days when he wasn’t working. On the road, they had to leave at a certain time when staying in motels. Now Dean could get a decent amount of sleep each day. 

The only thing that didn’t change for Dean was the nightmares. He still had them very frequently. Luckily he didn’t make loud noises when he had them, just small grunts and whimpers. He didn’t want Bobby asking questions because then that would mean Dean would have to talk about his feelings. Dean Winchester did not do feelings. He had always told Sammy, ‘no chick flick moments.’

The nightmares always took place at their father’s house. It usually started with yelling and the sound of Sammy crying. Dean would get furious and at that point, the dreams usually got very violent and usually ended the moment a gunshot was heard. 

Sometimes the nightmares would be worse, taking up a majority of the night when Dean slept. It was the days that followed when he looked the worst. Bobby had noticed and asked several times what was going on. Dean kept being stubborn and refusing to tell Bobby, saying everything was just fine. One day when Dean wasn’t working and was sat on the couch watching TV, Bobby came into the room with a frown on his face.

“Dean. You’ve got to get out of the house,” Bobby said sternly.

Dean looked at Bobby in confusion. “Why?” 

Bobby rolled his eyes and said, “Why do you think, boy. Unless you’re working, you’re in the house laying around and watching TV. And I can’t be the only person you talk with for the rest of your life. I may live like a recluse, but even I make an effort to keep in touch with people outside of my home. You should do the same.”

Dean shot him a glare, but Bobby only crossed his arms and glared back. He had that certain effect on people when he was trying to make them do something. It worked on Dean. He sighed and got up to his feet, reluctantly grabbing his jacket and throwing it on. 

“Fine, Bobby. I’ll come back later,” Dean grumbled.

Dean walked out of the house and got in his Impala. He got in and drove into town, not even knowing where he was going to go first. He drove around, getting a feel for the town’s layout. It was nice and easy to get around. Dean made mental notes whenever he saw a bar or a small café. He would need to remember their locations. 

Eventually Dean found himself on the same roads again and again. He came to a stop in front of a church. He didn’t know why he was there, because he wasn’t the religious type. Churches were for praying and ‘finding Jesus.’ Dean shook his head and continued driving. He found himself going by the church again and again. He looked at his meter and found he was running out of gas. Dean knew he would need to refuel soon. In the time he had been looking in his meter however, Dean had ended up stopping in front of the same church. 

Then a sign caught his eye. It was one that had confession times on the sign; one frame being 1pm-4pm. Dean glanced at his dashboard and at the clock, which read 3:50 pm. Dean started to wonder if this was some kind of sign. He scoffed, wondering why the hell the universe would choose a church to be some sort of sign. He wasn’t the religious type. He never prayed. He had never attended church. Why should he start now? Dean shook his head and tried to remember where he had last seen a gas station. He remembered seen one four streets over from where he was. That would take up a considerable amount of gas, and he might not even have enough before he got there.

Sighing, he looked back to the church. It was definitely a sign. It had to be. It was either a sign or him screwing everything up as usual. Dean looked back at the sign that spoke about the confessional times. He had a chance to do one now if he wanted. Dean sighed, wondering if he could somehow absolve his own sins here. He guessed it wouldn’t hurt. 

Dean parked the car in the church’s parking lot and headed inside. The church was mostly empty, but probably because it was a Saturday. There was one couple sitting in one of the pews and they seemed to be deep in prayer. A man was coming in his direction, and Dean thought he was going to speak to him when the man just continued on past him. Dean shrugged and looked around for where the confessions box was. 

He walked down the aisle between the pews until he saw a sign pointing to a doorway. It was where the confessions box was supposed to be. Dean headed through the doorway and saw that it was currently unoccupied. He stood there, staring at it. He wondered if he should really do this or not. What if the priest on the other side didn’t like what Dean told him and decided to ignore him or something? What if there wasn’t even a priest and Dean was just sitting there talking to air? Dean shook his head trying to clear the thoughts out of his head. He was being ridiculous and he knew it. 

Dean swallowed nervously as he went to the side that was meant for him to sit in. He opened the door and went in; sitting on the small bench provided and looked at the slot on the wall. There was a light coming through the slot, so Dean hoped that meant there really was a priest on the other side. He took a deep breath and spoke, hoping he was saying the right words.

“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.”

Dean waited a moment, and didn’t hear anything. He frowned, wondering if he was doing this wrong. Then a voice came through the slot, and it sounded like it belonged to someone younger than Dean had expected a priest to be. 

“I have not heard your voice before. Is this your first time confessing here?” 

Dean swallowed and said, “Yes…actually it’s my first confession anywhere.”

“I see. Go ahead and speak. You are safe to confess, for only God and I will hear you.”

“Okay…Father, I’ve done things I’m not proud of. A long time ago I really hurt someone. I hurt them really badly. I told myself I was doing it to protect my brother, but even he knew it was wrong. I became selfish and took my brother with me. I didn’t want to be alone, so I kept him with me for company. Then two weeks ago my brother revealed that he had been hiding something from me. He had lied to me and revealed he had been saving money for a chance to be on his own. The kid wanted to go to college. I…I didn’t want him to go. I wanted him to stay with me in our Impala while we went around the country doing whatever. But I was piss-I mean, angry at him. I let him go, but I also told him that I never wanted to see him again. Now I regret saying that.” Dean sighed and put his face in his hands, wondering if the priest would respond. 

“What is your name? I will not betray your privacy, I just wish to have a name to call you by,” the priest said after a long moment. 

Dean nodded in understanding and mentally kicked himself because the priest wouldn’t have even seen that. “Dean. My name is Dean,” he introduced himself.

“Dean…I imagine you are in a great amount of pain right now. Though I cannot see your face, I can imagine the guilt you must be feeling,” the priest spoke softly through the slot in the wall. “First, I must ask you. Do you truly regret your past actions?”

Dean was silent, considering the priest’s question. Did he regret saving his brother from their dick of a father? No. Did he regret dragging Sam along on his life on the road? He didn’t. Did he regret telling Sam he never wanted to see him again? Yes. He did. 

“Some of them,” said Dean. “I regret not forgiving my brother for hiding something like that from me and I regret what I said to him before he left. I regret those few times I left him alone and his life was put in danger. I do not, however, regret saving him from a life of abuse.”

“I see…” the priest was silent for a minute. Dean raised an eyebrow, not sure what to make of that. Then the priest continued speaking, “Dean, to forgive is one of the hardest things anyone can do. In this case, I think before you forgive your brother, you need to forgive yourself.”

Dean snorted. That didn’t even make any sense. At least not right away however. Then he sort of understood, but he wasn’t sure how to do that. “How?” he asked out loud.

“Consider your reasons for your actions, Dean. It will take some self-discovery, but understanding the reasons behind your sins is one of the first steps to healing your soul,” the priest replied in a gentle manner. 

Dean nodded, but remembering that the priest couldn’t see him, he spoke out loud. “Alright and what if my reasons weren’t exactly good ones?” he asked, thinking of his selfishness in keeping Sam with him as he rode around the country. 

It was if the priest had read his mind, because he said, “Are you referring to your selfishness towards your brother?”

“Yes…how did you know?” Dean looked towards the wall as if the priest could see his questioning gaze. 

“I have good intuition,” the priest said simply. 

Dean shifted uncomfortably. If the priest had been that accurate, then what other things could he be accurate about. Dean glanced at his watch and saw that it was now 4:14 pm. 

“Thank you father…I think I’m going to go. Sorry,” Dean apologized before standing up. 

Before he left, the priest spoke one last time. “Dean, I hope you will come back again. I think these talks might be good for you.”

Dean looked over his shoulder at the slot. “Yeah…maybe,” he said uncertainly. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to come back. “I’ll think about it.” 

He left before the priest could say anything else.   
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby makes Dean go out into town again and he meets Castiel Novak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry guys, I thought I had put this chapter up already. I guess I kind of just forgot about it. This fic is still going to be slow with updates. Again I apologize. Anyway, here's the next chapter.

Dean walked out of the church and to his car. When he got into the car and started up the engine, the friendly red light on his meter reminded him he needed to get more gas. Dean sighed and decided he should just get as close to the gas station as possible. He left the church’s parking lot and headed through the town towards the gas station. However, his car started slowing down just as he was a block away from the station.

“Come on baby, you can do it,” he said pressing the gas pedal down even further.

Sadly his baby gave out just across the street from the gas station. Dean groaned in frustration, cutting the engine and leaning back in his seat. At least he wouldn’t have to walk too far in order to get a gallon of gas for his tank.

Dean got out of the car and looked up, seeing in front of him a house that looked too nice for his standards. It literally had a white picket fence and flowerbeds lining the pathway up to the front door. At that moment, he noticed he had actually parked in front of the drive way. And whoever lived there wasn’t home, as far as he could tell. He didn’t know when the owners would return, but he needed to hurry so he wouldn’t be in their way.

Dean headed across the street and bought himself a gallon of gas. When he got back to the car, Dean was glad to see that no one was waiting for him to move yet. He refilled the Impala’s tank and stuck the container into the trunk. Upon getting into the driver’s side and starting the car, Dean saw a light blue ’67 Ford Mustang slowing down to a stop behind him. He waved at the rear view mirror and pressed the gas, moving forward. He heard the person driving the mustang honk back at him in thanks before he saw it pull into the drive way. At least their car was cool.

Dean drove on back to Bobby’s. He had a feeling Bobby would want to know what he had been up to on his return, and Dean was right. He walked into the house and found Bobby in the living room drinking a bottle of beer and watching TV. Hearing Dean come into the room, Bobby turned his head and nodded a hello.

“Have fun, Dean?” Bobby asked as Dean took a seat on the unoccupied couch.

Dean wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell Bobby about going to church. He didn’t want the man thinking he actually was the religious type, because Dean really wasn’t. He didn’t want Bobby to start pitying him either, even though Dean had a feeling he already did.

“I guess, yeah,” Dean lied with a shrug. “Drove around, took note of some bars around town. I might go see them later.”

Bobby raised a brow. That hadn’t exactly been what he had hoped Dean would do. “Did you meet anyone?” Bobby pressed further.

Dean shook his head. “No. Not yet anyway.”

That was mostly true. He guessed one could say he had ‘met’ the priest, but not really since there had been a wall between them and Dean hadn’t even gotten his name. He heard Bobby sigh and watched as Bobby got up to his feet.

“I’m going to get another beer,” Bobby said before heading back into the kitchen.

Dean nodded and turned his attention to the TV. There was some kind of drama show on that he hadn’t expected Bobby to be into. Dean grabbed the remote and was about to change the channel until he saw that things were heating up on the screen. Smiling, he set it down and started watching. Bobby came back and saw Dean’s mouth hanging open as he watched what was going on screen. Bobby shrugged and sat down in his armchair, but that alerted Dean to his presence.

Dean quickly shut his mouth and stood up. “I’m going to work on my car some. Baby needs a good shining, you know?” It was supposed to be an excuse, but now that he thought about it, the Impala could use a good scrubbing down.

Bobby nodded and took a drink of his beer. Dean headed out to his car and started washing it. As he did, he thought about what the priest had said to him. He had said Dean needed to consider the reasons for his actions. He thought back to the very first sin he had committed but quickly pushed it out of his mind. Dean didn’t think he was ready for that yet.

He moved onto how he had dragged his brother around the country without even really asking him. He hadn’t considered Sam’s feelings about how he felt about living on the road. Clearly Sam hadn’t liked it, seeing as he had gotten a job and run off to college. Dean knew that was his fault. He should have talked to Sam about it. Then Sam wouldn’t have had to lie about what he had been doing over the past four years. He should have been more supportive of Sam’s decision in wanting to go to college instead of spending the rest of his life on the road.

Dean thought about how alone he had felt when Sam finally ditched him. He thought about how he had gone to see if there was a town nearby where Sam had left him and the Impala in the middle of the road. Dean thought about how he had decided to go right to Bobby’s the day after that. The answer was clear now. He didn’t want to be alone.

His fear of loneliness was the reason for keeping Sam with him when they left the Winchester house. It was that reason why he had gotten so angry at Sam for even daring to hide something from him. Dean had been living on a rule that he and Sam were supposed to share everything. Dean let out a derisive laugh as he moved to the other side of the Impala to get the last two wheels. The laugh was aimed at himself for being such a selfish dick.

God only knew how much he hated himself sometimes. Dean had a feeling of self loathing inside of him as he rinsed the suds off the Impala. The priest had told him he needed to forgive himself. What a joke! There was no way Dean could forgive himself now. He had burned a bridge with his brother, and he was pretty sure there was no way for that bridge to be rebuilt. He highly doubted it.

Dean finished up on his car and headed back into the house. He was glad to be distracted with dinner that night. Unfortunately he had another nightmare when he went to sleep. The nightmare was a different one though. He was in his Impala, driving with Sam riding shotgun as usual. He could feel the tension in the car as Sam glared at him. Suddenly Sam tore off his seatbelt and took hold of the wheel. He turned it hard, causing the car to go off the road. Dean yelled at his brother to let go but now neither of them had control of the car. The Impala was going straight down a very steep hill and at a very fast pace. Then for some odd reason, the Impala started literally breaking into pieces. Next thing Dean knew, he was free-falling through the air. He was plummeting straight through darkness with no idea of when he would reach the bottom.

Dean woke up in a cold sweat. He was lying on his back, limbs sprawled and chest heaving up and down. The dream had given him a new kind of terror. Dean growled in frustration and rolled over, burying his face in the pillow. He didn’t need his brain coming up with new ways to torture him at night. He only hoped there wouldn’t be any other new nightmares after that.

The next morning, Dean walked downstairs in jeans and a black shirt. Bobby was already up (the guy had always said he didn’t sleep much) and drinking some coffee while he read the paper. Dean mumbled a good morning before going into the kitchen and getting a piece of toast for himself. He wasn’t that hungry anyway. He took his toast into the living room and sat down, turning on the TV.

There was nothing but crap on today. He eventually decided to stop on a channel where a baseball game was playing. He watched it until it finally ended at around 1pm. He shut off the TV and looked towards Bobby who was cleaning one of his shotguns. The older man must have sensed Dean looking at him, because Bobby looked up and frowned at Dean. Bobby still didn’t like seeing Dean lying around on the couch like that.

“Dean, are you doing anything productive today?” Bobby asked. Before Dean could answer, he continued, “Well you are. There’s a place in town called Harvelle Roadhouse. Good place with good food and good people. I know Ellen Harvelle, who owns the place. She even has a daughter who is about your age. I want you to go and meet them. Be social.”

Dean scowled slightly. Bobby was beginning to sound more like a father, and the way a father should be unlike the deadbeat dad he and Sam had. He wasn’t sure if he appreciated it or hated it. Dean did understand why Bobby was doing this though. He wanted Dean to see people. He wanted Dean to be less reliant on him and be able to cope with being on his own.

Dean finally stood up and nodded to Bobby. “Alright, I’ll go,” he said.

Bobby nodded in approval and said as a warning, “Remember, be social.”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it,” Dean said, feeling a little annoyed.   


He had agreed to do it. Bobby didn’t have to keep pushing him. He ignored the fact that he was getting angry over something as small as this and left the house. He got into the Impala and drove into town. He recalled seeing the Harvelle Roadhouse the day before when he had been doing a self tour of Sioux Falls. Dean hoped he was going in the right direction, and was relieved when he saw the Roadhouse just up ahead.

Dean pulled into the car lot and parked before walking in. The Roadhouse was getting a fair amount of business today by the looks of it. Dean went up to the bar where a young, pretty blonde woman worked behind the counter.

The blonde smiled at Dean and said, “Hey, what can I get you today?”

“Uh…” Dean glanced at the chalkboard menus they had and said, “I’ll have a shot of bourbon if you don’t mind.”

“Sure thing, it’s coming right up!” said the girl cheerfully before turning to get Dean’s drink.

Dean watched the girl get him a glass of bourbon and smiled when she set it in front of him.

“Thanks,” he said to her, raising his glass and taking a drink.

“No problem,” said the girl. Then she leaned forward, looking at him. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before. What’s your name?”

“Dean Winchester,” Dean introduced himself. “I’m working at Bobby’s salvage yard. Know him?”

“Bobby Singer?” the girl asked for confirmation. When Dean nodded, her eyes lit up and she said, “Everyone knows him. He’s a good friend of my mom’s. I’m Jo Harvelle, my mom is Ellen and she’s the one who actually owns this place.”

“So it’s a family business then?” Dean queried after taking another swig of his bourbon.

“Yep,” said Jo. “So did you know Bobby before you started working there or what?”

“He was a close friend of my dad’s,” Dean explained. “He’s pretty much family to me, and he offered me a place to stay when I had nowhere to go.” Dean’s eyes darkened as he thought back to the night he and Sam had split.

“Is it a sore subject?” Jo guessed.

“Yeah, it is,” said Dean with a slight nod. “Don’t really want to talk about it.”

“I won’t ask then,” said Jo politely. “Are you hungry, Dean? We have plenty of food here too, if you want any.”

“Food would be great, actually,” Dean admitted. He looked back at the menu and read the options they had for the day. “I think I’ll have the steak burger,” he decided.

“All right. I’ll be right back then,” said Jo.

Dean nodded and Jo disappeared through a door to what was probably the kitchen.

“Ah, I just missed her,” said a voice coming up beside him.

Dean turned his head and saw a young man with black hair and eyes that were a deep, azure blue. The man had a bit of stubble on his face and he wore what looked like a priest’s outfit with a white collar and black boots. He held what looked like a pamphlet in his hands.

His voice sounded somewhat familiar, and he was dressed like a priest. Could this be the same priest he had just spoken to the day before? Dean had no idea, but he realized at this point he was staring a little bit. And the man was looking right back at him.

“Um,” Dean cleared his throat. “She went to get my food. Shouldn’t be too long,” said Dean with a nervous smile. “What’s that you’re holding there?”

The man looked at his pamphlet and said, “Oh this is just for my sermon I plan to have this Sunday. People seem to look forward to my sermons and usually ask what I’ll be speaking about next. My superior suggested I hand out pamphlets instead of having to repeat the same answer to every single person who asked.”

“Makes sense,” said Dean with a nod. “Um…mind if I take look?” He gestured to the pamphlet in the priest’s hand.

“Not at all. What’s your name?” the man asked as he handed over the pamphlet.

“Dean Winchester,” he said looking at the pamphlet. It looked like for his next sermon the priest would be speaking about forgiveness and the challenges that come with it. “Huh…interesting…” he murmured mostly to himself.

“Dean?” the priest’s voice brought his attention back to him. “Might you be the same Dean I spoke with yesterday?”

“Depends. Are there a lot of Deans around here?” he asked jokingly.

That made the priest chuckle and say, “Well, not really. My name is Castiel Novak by the way.”

“Castiel, huh. That’s an unusual name, isn’t it?”

Castiel gave him a nod and said, “Castiel is the name of the angel of Thursday. My family is very religious. They own the church too.”

“Nice,” said Dean, taking another drink of his bourbon.

“You know, Dean. I think it would do you some good to come this Sunday. Only if you are interested, however,” Castiel offered.

Dean frowned. Yes, he had gone into a confession yesterday. However, he still hadn’t decided if he wanted to do another one. Now Castiel was asking him to come to an actual sermon.

“Ah…” Dean rubbed the back of his head, feeling very unsure about this.

Castiel smiled kindly at him and said, “Just think about it. You don’t have to come, but I think it would be very helpful if you did.”

Dean sighed in relief, grateful that Castiel was giving him time to decide. Just then, Jo returned with his food and Dean was glad to have some distraction. Jo greeted Castiel and the priest showed her the pamphlet. As Dean ate his food, he noticed the two of them knew each other pretty well. He wondered if Sioux Falls was the kind of town where everyone knew everyone. It was possible, anyway.

He was just finishing up the last of his burger before Castiel turned and spoke to him again. “I’ll be going now. I hope to see you at church this Sunday, Dean.”

“I’ll definitely think about it,” said Dean with a nod.

Castiel gave Dean and Jo a wave and left the Roadhouse. Dean drank the rest of his bourbon and pushed the glass towards where Jo was standing.

“Done already?” Jo asked him, taking the glass.

“Yeah. It was delicious too,” said Dean with a forced smile. “Thanks.”

He reached into his pocket to get out his wallet and paid for his meal. He didn’t add a tip since he hadn’t brought enough to do so. Dean thought it would be a good idea for him to head out. He had done what Bobby had asked; he had socialized a little bit and even gotten himself a meal with his own hard earned money.

As he turned to leave, he heard Jo say to him, “Come back soon, you hear?”

“Maybe,” he gave a similar response he had given to Castiel.

Dean wasn’t really one to get close to people outside of his family. Sam and Bobby had really been the only ones he actually cared about. They were the two most important people to him. He had been pretty close to his mom too, before she died in a fire. His dad didn’t even come close to being family to him, despite their biological connections.

Dean didn’t want to start letting anyone get close to him either. Sam’s departure had been almost like a betrayal. While it was Sam who had done the leaving, Dean still blamed a lot of it on himself. He wished he could have done something different so Sam wouldn’t have to hide that from him. He wished he had kept a closer eye on his brother. Dean had officially ruined that relationship between them, and he knew it.

When Dean and Sam had been on the road, many girls had caught his eye. However Dean hadn’t tried to get to know any of them. It was usually just meeting a girl at a bar, having sex with her that night, and then leaving her life forever the next day. Sometimes it was a guy, but they were scarce since Dean usually preferred girls over guys.

Dean got into the Impala and pulled out of the lot. Dean glanced at his watch and noticed he still had several hours to kill before he should go back to Bobby’s. He decided to drive out of town. He wasn’t leaving; he just wanted some time to himself. Besides, being on the road with the Impala did help calm him a lot. So Dean took the exit back onto the interstate and just drove.

He drove several miles away from Sioux Falls. He made sure not to go too far that he would run out of gas before he could get to a gas station. He drove for a solid two hours and was pleased to see that he was the only one on this road. Eventually he decided to turn back. As he did, Dean turned on the radio and put on AC/DC. He started moving his head to the beat of the current song that was playing as he drove back to town.

It was late evening as Dean drove into the town limits. The sun was low on the horizon so Dean took the road back towards Bobby’s. He was going around a bend when a figure suddenly came into his line of sight.

“Shit!” Dean swore loudly.

Dean jerked the wheel to the right, making the car veer off and away from the figure. Dean thought he felt something hit the car and he paled, hoping he hadn’t just killed someone. He slammed his foot on the brake and put the car in park before getting out of the car, cursing himself. The person he had nearly run over was on his butt, breathing hard and looking shocked. When Dean got closer, he saw that it was Castiel Novak.

“Oh God I am so sorry,” Dean apologized as he knelt next to the fallen priest. “Did I hit you?”

Castiel shook his head and said, “Not really but I…” He tried to push himself up and Dean extended a hand to pull him up on his feet. Castiel grimaced and put a hand on Dean’s shoulder for support. “I think I’ve sprained my ankle.”

“Oh man, I am so sorry,” Dean apologized again. “It’s my fault. I should have been paying more attention and driving slower.”

“No, Dean,” Castiel protested. “It was my fault. I was too far onto the road.”

Dean wanted to argue, but he also knew that Castiel would need help. “Do you think you can walk? I can give you a ride home if you want.”

“I appreciate it but…” Castiel pulled his hand back and stepped forward. “I can manage.”

As soon as those words left his mouth, Castiel accidently put too much weight on his sprained foot and nearly lost his balance. Dean grabbed him by the arm and used two hands to keep him steady. Castiel gave Dean an apologetic smile.

“If you wouldn’t mind?”

“Not at all,” said Dean, feeling a desire to make up for spraining Castiel’s ankle. “Come on, I’ll help you to my Impala.”

“Thank you,” Castiel murmured as Dean put an arm around him to keep him balanced on his good foot.

Dean slowly led Castiel to the passenger seat of the Impala and opened the door for him. Castiel got himself inside and Dean went around to his side. He got in and looked to make sure Castiel was buckled in before starting up the car again. As he drove further into town, he realized he didn’t know where Castiel’s house was.

“Er, Castiel? Can I just call you Cas?” Dean asked, realizing Castiel really was an unusual name to pronounce.

Castiel looked mildly surprised, but he made a small smile. “I don’t mind. I take it you need directions to my home?”

“Yeah,” said Dean with a nod.

Castiel looked out the window to see where they were. From there, he directed Dean to where his house was. Dean was surprised to see that it was the house with the white picket fence and flower beds. He even saw the blue Ford Mustang sitting in the driveway.

“So this is your house?” Dean asked, looking at Castiel.

“Yes. I recall seeing you parked in front of the entrance while getting gas.”

“Sorry about that, by the way,” Dean thought he needed to apologize for that as well. “I should have left the house on a full tank, but like the idiot I am, I didn’t bother to.”

“You’re not an idiot, Dean,” said Castiel gently. “Would you help me out of the car, please?”

Dean nodded and got out of the car. He went around to Castiel’s side and helped him out. He walked with Castiel to his front door, not wanting him to trip on the way. Castiel unlocked the door and opened it, using the handle as support as he walked across the threshold. He turned to look at Dean.

“Thank you Dean, you have been very kind,” said Castiel with a smile. “I am in your debt.”

“Don’t worry about it, Cas,” Dean reassured him. “I don’t deserve anything, really. I’m just glad I didn’t screw up getting you back home.”

Castiel frowned, studying Dean closely. He had a feeling the man didn’t think very highly of himself. Castiel felt a little sorry for him. He thought back to what Dean had told him during confession, and guessed it was related to that.

“Dean, you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You were nothing but kind to me and that is the important part,” Castiel said.

“I guess…” said Dean with a heavy sigh. He rubbed the back of his head, feeling slightly awkward. “Are you going to be okay?”

Castiel smiled again and said, “Yes Dean. Again, thank you.”

“Alright…I’m going to go home then,” said Dean, letting his hand drop back to his side.

“I still hope you will come on Sunday. I am serious about that,” Castiel said.

Dean made a half smile that was still uncertain. “Maybe I will,” Dean told him. “Good night Cas,” he said before backing up a step and turning around.

“Good night, Dean,” Castiel said before closing the door.

Dean walked back to the Impala and got in. He thought Castiel was a good guy. Even though Dean had nearly run him over, Castiel still forgave him. That had definitely surprised him, but he wasn’t sure if that had been genuine or out of pity. He didn’t want anyone to pity him.

Dean drove back home to Bobby’s. He went into the house and heard a gruff greeting from Bobby. Dean told him goodnight and headed upstairs to bed. Castiel remained in his thoughts even as Dean’s head hit the pillow. He was starting to feel a certain curiosity about the man. He also found himself looking forward to Sunday as he fell asleep that night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean attends Castiel's Sunday Mass and runs into him again at the Roadhouse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3. Chapter 4 is going to take a while I'm afraid since it'll get more into the plot. I hope you enjoy this bit.

Sunday came faster than Dean expected. When he awoke, it took a few moments for his senses to return to him. It was too early for him to be awake and he felt groggy. Upon looking at his watch, it was a little after 7:30am. Today he was supposed to go to church because Castiel had asked that he should come to his sermon.

Dean told himself he could easily roll over and go back to sleep. He could just forgo the invitation and pretend he’d never even approached the church in the first place. Still, after running into Castiel at the diner a few nights ago, they had formed what seemed to be the beginning of a friendship.

Dean didn’t really have ‘friends.’ Sure he had his family, but as far as friends went, they were scarce. If he really thought about it, the priest Castiel was potentially the first friend he’d had in a very long time. Because of this, he felt an obligation to go to church and see him. Castiel was his friend after all, wasn’t he?

He sighed, sitting up in bed and rubbing the weariness out of his eyes. He got out and took a quick shower before looking through his clean clothes for something decent to wear. Dean had never gone to church before, so obviously he didn’t really have anything truly formal. He decided to pick his favorite pair of jeans - ones that did not have holes in the knees - and a plain, dark green, button down cotton shirt. It was good enough to wear to church in his opinion.

He headed out of his room and into the rustic kitchen for something to eat for his breakfast. Bobby wasn’t around, so Dean guessed that the man was either in his room or out elsewhere on his land. He made himself a slice of toast with butter and finished it quickly so he could head to church already.

Dean hopped into his car and left Bobby’s home. He drove into town and when he got to church, he realized he had come a little late since the parking lot was already nearly full. He managed to find a tight parking space big enough for his large car – one that was large enough so that the doors didn’t get scratched, or dented - and took it before hurrying inside into the nave of the church. Dean didn’t want to miss any more of Castiel’s sermon.

He found an empty seat in the back and sat down. Some people looked back to see who had come in out of curiosity before returning their attention to Castiel. Dean looked at the young priest standing behind the lectern as he spoke. He wore his priest’s attire; a black blazer with a white collar and black trousers and a shirt. He thought the priest looked rather handsome and quite at home up there. A small voice in the back of his head reminded him why he was there, and he redirected his attention to the words that Castiel was saying.

“…And that’s what the Scripture says about forgiveness,” Castiel was saying. “What the Scripture doesn’t tell us about is self-forgiveness. It doesn’t teach the importance of you as a person forgiving yourself even when you know God has forgiven you. I think that is a problem many of us face today, and I want to address that.

“It’s not always easy to rely on just pure faith. It’s not always easy to just let go of your past sins. And that is okay. If you still can’t forgive yourself, then let me tell you this. Your sins do not make you a bad person. If you feel remorse for your sins, then that means you have already taken the very first step towards forgiving yourself, even if not completely. God believes in second chances, and he gives them to those who feel regret for their sins. Use those second chances to make the right choices and be a better person. Fix what can be fixed, and accept that what can’t be fixed is now in the past. Have faith in God, but also have faith in yourself.”

Castiel went onto describe the merits of forgiving oneself and soon ended his sermon with a final prayer. Dean closed his eyes and bowed his head along with everyone else, but instead of listening to the prayer he thought over what Castiel had talked about. He had mentioned feeling remorse, and that was similar to what he had asked Dean in confession. He supposed the priest did have a point to all this. He still wanted to stay so he could talk to Castiel a little more.

Soon Dean and Castiel were the only ones left in the room. The priest was packing up his things and Dean caught his eye as he walked towards him. Castiel gave him a friendly smile as he approached, recognizing him easily.

“Hello Dean,” he said stepping down from the platform so he was level with Dean. “Did you enjoy my sermon?”

“I did, actually,” Dean admitted. He was only saying that since he and Castiel were the only ones in the room at the present moment. He wasn’t sure why he was even saying it to Castiel when they still didn’t know one another very well yet. He pinned it to the fact that the man was a priest and it was in their job description to offer advice and words of wisdom. “I sort of get why you asked if I regretted what I did now. I should probably say thanks too, so thanks.”

Dean offered a smile, and was glad when Castiel returned it. “It’s something to think about. I’m glad you came. I actually wasn’t supposed to do that last part you heard when you came in. I wasn’t going to unless you were here, but when I saw you I did because I felt that you needed to hear it.”

That took him by surprise. The priest had actually gone out of his way to include a part for Dean? He hadn’t even thought he was deserving of that. The fact that Castiel did it made him feel happy, even if just a little bit.

“I appreciate it Cas-I mean, Father,” Dean said with a grateful nod.

Castiel let out a soft laugh, which made the skin around his eyes crinkle when he did. “My session is over. You may call me Castiel, or Cas, as you like to call me.”

“Alright, Cas,” he reaffirmed. “But please don’t think you have to go out of your way for me.” Dean didn’t think he deserved it.

The priest tilted his head in concern. “Dean, everyone deserves help, even you.”

Dean thought he saw something like pity in Castiel’s eyes. “Cas, I don’t want your pity,” he growled. “I don’t need pity from anyone.”

“I do not pity you, but at least let me offer my ear as a friend, not just as a priest,” he murmured. “I’m here if you need to talk to me, any time. I think it might be easier if we spoke face to face rather than inside of a confessional.”

“I would like that,” said Dean, despite himself.

Castiel smiled and opened his mouth to speak further, but then he was interrupted by someone calling his name.

“Castiel, I need to see you in my office. Now, please,” barked a commanding voice near them.

Dean looked up and saw a rotund man with a receding hairline and sharp eyes. He guessed the man was probably Castiel’s boss. Considering what the priest had told him, he hoped this didn’t mean he was in trouble. He gave a worried glance to Castiel who in turn smiled reassuringly.

“Sorry, Dean, I have to go,” he apologized.

“I hope you’re not in trouble because of me,” Dean said with a frown.

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry,” Castiel reassured him. “I’ll see you later, perhaps?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, later,” he said decidedly.

He glanced briefly at the other man before turning to leave. He left the church and went to his Impala, sliding inside and starting her up. He really hoped he hadn’t gotten Castiel in trouble. It would only mean another person had gotten screwed up thanks to him. It seemed like that was all he was good for sometimes.

He reflected on the last thing he had said to Castiel. He had spoken as if he really was planning on seeing him later. He had even willingly agreed to talk to him outside of the confessional. He was pretty much friends with the guy at this point. They had run into each other a few times, and on the first meeting he had even shared a bit of his soul with the guy without even seeing his face.

Dean hadn’t really thought about how much he needed a friend until he had met Castiel. Sam and Bobby were more like family than friends. With a friend, he didn’t have the same obligations he owed to his family. Friends allowed for more freedom. Even though Castiel was a priest, he had still told Dean he could be treated as a friend. He liked that, and he liked having the priest as a friend now.

He stole a glance at the clock on his dashboard. It was almost noon. He decided it would be a good idea to go to the Roadhouse for some lunch. He was a bit hungry, anyway. Dean turned right from where he was and drove down to Harvelle’s Roadhouse. As he drove into the lot, he saw that it was pretty packed. He hoped there would at least be a table left for him.

Dean parked and headed into the Roadhouse. It really was packed. He looked around and spotted a small table in the corner of the restaurant. He made a beeline for it, hurrying before anyone else could take the table. Jo must have spotted him from the bar, because almost as soon as he sat down she approached the table.

“Hello again, Dean,” she said with a smile. “We’re pretty full today, as you can see. I’m glad you were able to find a table, at least.”

“Hey, makes for good business right?” he pointed out with sort of a half smile.

Jo giggled in response to that. “Very true, now can I get you anything?”

“A beer and a burger would be great,” Dean said. Then he quickly added, “Please?”

“Sure thing! Be back in a minute,” said Jo after she had written down his order.

He nodded and Jo went off to get his order. Left alone, Dean sighed and looked around. He noticed that almost every table had more than one person at it. He was the only one in the entire place sitting alone, and it was a very awkward feeling. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He hoped Jo would return with his food soon. Then he quickly reminded himself that Jo was busy and probably wouldn’t be able to chat very long.

He started to lightly drum a sad little beat on the wooden surface of the table. He considered getting a box so he could have the liberty of eating in his car. Then at least he wouldn’t feel so self conscious. Jo did come by with his beer, but was quickly called away by another table. Dean sighed and took a drink of the beer.

Dean was about to get up to cancel his order when a familiar face approached. It was Castiel, except he wasn’t dressed in his priest’s attire. He was dressed in a dark brown woolen shirt with sleeves that came down just past the elbows and jeans. In his hand he held a thick covered book.

“Dean? I’m glad to see you here. Do you mind if I join you? There aren’t any other tables left,” Castiel explained.

“Yeah, go ahead,” said Dean agreeably. “I was getting kind of lonely anyway.”

Castiel smiled and said, “I guess it’s a good thing I showed up then. I thought I would be alone too, which is why I brought this book. I guess I won’t need it though.” He patted the book he set down in front of him.

Dean looked at it curiously. “What book is it?” he asked.

“Ah,” Castiel turned the book around so Dean could see the cover properly. “This one is ‘The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn,’ by Mark Twain. I’m a fan of his novels.”

“Oh, that’s cool, I guess,” said Dean. “Sorry. I’m not really much of a reader, myself.”

“That’s fine Dean. At least you’re honest. Most people tend to feign interest in things another person likes when they want to form a friendship.”

“Um, you’re welcome, I think?” Dean wasn’t used to hearing someone talk so formally like this before. He decided to just accept it as Castiel’s way of speaking. The guy was only being friendly, after all.

Their conversation was put on pause when Jo returned to the table with Dean’s burger. She greeted Castiel and took his order of a glass of water and a sandwich. He explained to Dean that it was his usual choice whenever he came here.

“You come here often then?” Dean asked after he swallowed a bite of his double bacon cheeseburger.

“Yes. Despite it being a simple restaurant, the food here is actually the best in town,” Castiel said with a wry smile. “Ellen and Jo are both wonderful people too.”

Dean nodded and took a drink of his beer. “This stuff is pretty good too. Though I assume you don’t drink, you know since you’re a priest and all.”

“Actually I do drink on occasion. It can be good for the soul if taken in moderation,” said Castiel.

Dean thought that was a little cool. It reminded him of his father before his mother’s death. His dad had also followed that same ideal, but completely forgot it after Mary died in a house fire. He still remembered that night very clearly. It was the night John had lost his mind and Dean had to grow up a lot faster than he should have. It brought back old anger and frustration that he really didn’t want to feel right now.

Castiel must have noticed the change in his expression, because he was now looking at him in concern. “Is something wrong?” he asked gently.

“Nothing,” he said quickly, grabbing his beer and using it as an excuse not to talk. He drank it down, but out of the corner of his eye he saw Castiel studying him carefully. He sighed and set it down, looking back at the priest. “What?”

“You can talk to me,” said Castiel.

Dean was silent. He had mixed feelings about sharing his past with Castiel. Even though the man was still offering his ear for him to let out all his thoughts into, he still didn’t quite feel close to him yet. Then again, the few times they had talked in the past had helped him. Even the sermon had helped a little. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to share a little more.

He took a deep breath and scooted closer to Castiel so he could speak in a low whisper. Very cautiously, he spoke, “My dad…he used to follow that same policy with drinking. He stopped when my mom died, though. It was a house fire and it really hurt my dad. Instead of raising my brother and I like he should have, he spent all his time and money on drinking and laying around on his ass.” He drew a shaky breath, old emotions springing back to life once more. “I ended up having to take care of us when it should have been him. I was only eight years old at the time.”

Dean stopped himself there. He didn’t like talking about his feelings. It made him look pathetic and weak, and that was the last thing he wanted anyone to see. He took another long gulp of his beer and found himself swallowing the last drop. He sighed once more and set down the empty glass. Castiel was now looking at him with sorrowful eyes.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Dean,” he spoke softly.

“Then don’t,” he said abruptly, cutting him off. “It’s all over now anyway; doesn’t even matter,” he muttered gruffly.

“It does matter if it still bothers you,” Castiel pointed out.’

Dean’s nostrils flared as he felt a surge of anger and annoyance towards him. He wanted to tell Castiel to piss off, but a small voice reminded him that he had agreed to talk to him. He took a deep breath and exhaled. The priest wasn’t trying to be nosy; he was only trying to help. He didn’t need to get this angry at him.

They were interrupted again when Jo returned with Castiel’s sandwich. She sensed the tension and quickly left after she had given the priest his food. Dean sighed and used the distraction to eat the last bite of his burger. As he swallowed, he felt Castiel’s eyes on him again. The staring was a little uncomfortable, and Dean knew he was waiting for him to say something.

“I’m sorry, Cas. I’m just not used to talking about this,” he apologized, still not looking back up at him.

“Is it helping, though?” he asked cautiously.

“A little, I guess,” Dean mumbled.

“How do you feel?” the priest asked, prodding a little further. He seemed to be genuinely concerned and honest with wanting to help Dean.

“Cas, I’m sorry but you’re not my therapist,” he said, annoyance rising in his tone. “I would appreciate it if we didn’t go to that level.”

“Right, I’m sorry,” said Castiel raising his hands slightly in surrender. “We can talk about something else, if you’d like.” He started on his sandwich at that point.

Dean relaxed visibly and leaned back in his seat, glad he was offering to change the subject. “Tell me about you. You said your family owns the church?”

Castiel nodded and started, “My father is the man you saw at the church today. His name is Zachariah Alder. I have a brother named Gabriel and a sister named Anna. Gabe is also a priest at the church, but Anna is currently a stay-at-home mother with a beautiful daughter named Claire.”

“That sounds…nice,” said Dean. A lot nicer than his, he added silently to himself. “At least you have a perfect family.”

The priest let out a laugh that sounded somewhat bitter. “My family is far from perfect, but thank you. I’m only close to Gabe and Anna, really.”

“Still, it sounds a lot better than mine,” said Dean. “You even have a white picket fence and flowerbeds at your house.”

He looked thoughtful about that. “I suppose that does sugar coat it a little,” he surrendered with a nod. “I even have a cat to complete it.”

Dean raised an eyebrow at that. “You have a cat?”

“Yes I do,” said Castiel with a small smile. “He keeps me company.”

“What’s his name?” Dean asked curiously.

“Finn, as in Huckleberry Finn,” the priest responded. “I know it seems silly to have named my pet after a fictional character, but they are alike in many ways.”

“Huh. I guess it makes life interesting for you then? Isn’t Huck supposed to be a troublemaker or something?”

“Well my cat is just as mischievous as he is,” Castiel explained. “I’m just glad he doesn’t know how to speak like humans do. He might have the same language Huck does.”

Dean made a small chuckle. He didn’t smile completely, but one tugged at his lips as he got an image of a cat walking around Castiel’s house spitting out colorful words at everything. He watched him for a moment as the man ate his sandwich, washing bites down every now and then with his water.

“I only know a little about that since my brother was a huge nerd when it came to books,” Dean said, feeling a little twinge of sadness when he thought about his brother. “I never really got into it.”

“He sounds like a smart kid,” Castiel commented.

“He is. He managed to lie to me for four years just so he could go to college,” Dean stated with a scowl. He shook his head and said, “Sorry.”

“I understand,” said Castiel. He finished his sandwich and drank the rest of his water. “That was delicious, as usual.”

“The food’s great, that’s for sure,” Dean agreed. “I think I’ll be coming here regularly from now on.”

“Would you mind if I wanted to join you sometimes?” Castiel asked, the hopefulness surprising Dean.

“Not at all Cas,” said Dean, feeling something that was probably close to happiness. When the priest smiled at him, he found himself smiling back. It was probably the first smile he had had in a very long time.

Castiel looked like he was about to say something, but then he was distracted by his phone. He pulled it out and looked at the screen. His lips twisted in annoyance and he shook his head. Castiel returned his phone and got up from his seat.

“Sorry. I have to go,” Castiel said apologetically. “Thanks for the company.”

“It’s cool,” said Dean assuredly. “I’ll see you around then, I guess?”

Cas nodded in response and said, “Goodbye Dean.”

Dean watched as Castiel left and waited a bit so he could leave without it looking like he was following the priest. He paid for his food and went to his Impala. He drove back to Bobby’s, thinking about Castiel the whole way.

He was starting to like the man more. He was a good person and a good friend too. He was someone outside his family that he could talk to and felt comfortable with. He even thought he might want to go to church again. He would as long as the priest didn’t go breaking any other rules just for him again. Castiel had already come close to getting in real trouble for that, and Dean didn’t want to lose the friendship he had with him because of that. He made a promise himself not to screw things up with him like he had with Sam.


End file.
